Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
