Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
