Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
are you so shy because you have an std?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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