Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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