How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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