***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
