Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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