:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
