The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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