Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
