Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
is wine microwaveable?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
