Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
