Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
