I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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