I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize