so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
All the doctor said was why
Randomize