He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
