I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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