The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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