What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize
