So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
