No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
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