I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize