oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Randomize
