My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
