No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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