YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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