she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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