tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
