so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
