Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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