Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
