Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
