dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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