Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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