I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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