R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize