I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
being pregnant is like rehab
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
