I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just threw up on my dentist
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
