ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
