Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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