It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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