Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
