Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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