Porn is love you can see.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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