i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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