so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
