I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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