I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
