Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
