toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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