At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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