whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize