God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
