So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
