I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She swung at the pinata with crutches
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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