Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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