I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
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How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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