Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
